It's the off-season at the lonely Beauregard Hotel in Bournemoth, and only the long-term tenants are still in residence. Life is stirred up, however, when the beautiful Ann Shankland arrives to see her alcoholic ex-husband, John Malcolm, who is secretly engaged to Pat Cooper, the woman who runs the hotel. Meanwhile, snobbish Mrs Railton-Bell discovers that the kindly if rather doddering Major Pollock, played by David Niven, who won an Oscar for his performance, a retired officer who likes to find out more...

Kevin Smith had a podcast where they made a joke about the idea of kidnapping and turning a human into a walrus. It went viral on the twittersphere. Then it became a movie. This movie. Though the whole thing starts out well, with decent doses of good humour and dramatic tension, it all falls very quickly by the wayside. The result is a ridiculous prosthetic walrus suit that envelops Justin Long. Somewhere inside this mess of a movie there's a punchline, if only Smith could get to it without q find out more...