You know how before this came out at the cinema there was massive internet hype, a mind boggling disaster, sci-fi, horror, action flick, but bugger all about what the plot actually involved? Well that's because apart from monsters reeking havoc in New York, and some pretty young things trapped in the carnage, there is no plot; nada, zilch, nothing. Cloverfield works so well because it stoutly refuses to offer you anything other than adrenalin fuelled, clammy palmed escapism and filming it throug find out more...

Constantine is a miserable, grim-faced curmudgeon, but then he can see the devil's army here on earth and it's his job to send them back (unpleasantly) if they transgress the rules laid down by God and Satan...so it's perhaps understandable that he's not too perky. Coming across rather more naughty behaviour than he's used to, Constantine suspects all hell is about to break loose and with the help of an equally po-faced but attractive detective he sets about uncovering the conspiracy. Constantin find out more...

Down in the tube station at midnight… Kate falls asleep while waiting for the last train and awakens to find the station deserted and locked up for the night. To cap it all off, Kate has been followed by a sleazy lothario whose atavistic advances she had spurned at a party earlier in the evening. Things look bleak when it becomes clear that not only is her suitor a proponent of the ‘no means yes' school of female psychology but there is something else lurking about in subterranean London, someth find out more...

A werewolf is loose in Los Angeles, and only a small band of pretty, sassy, but initially incredulous, young things have any hope of bringing its ravenous reign to an end. The writer and director of Scream team up again for a right old travesty of a movie…Cursed indeed. find out more...

2019; most of the world's population are now vampires, the human population is dwindling fast and, consequently, so is the vampires' food supply... and trust me a thirsty vampire is not a pleasant beastie. Vampire haematologist Ethan is not happy with his corporate mission, researching a synthetic blood product for corporate monopolist vampire fat cat Charles Bromley, so he ends up joining forces with the human resistance, which includes crossbow wielding dialogue spouting Elvis, a vampire who's find out more...

A scarred stuntman cruises the American hinterland in his specially adapted 'muscle' car praying on nubile young women who fail to take advantage of his less than smooth advances. All is going well until Mr Nutter picks on three hard as nails (but still nubile) stuntwomen and so begins a brutal chase along the byways and highways until Tarantino mercifully realises that he has no plot to speak of, a script that could have been adlibbed better, and just suddenly ends the film. Like a bizarre, mea find out more...

A platoon of soldiers are sent out on manoeuvers in the wilds of Scotland and at first their only worry is that they're missing the England Germany match, but when they discover the remains of a special operations unit things take a distinct turn for the worse, a misery compounded by the fact that the farm they've taken refuge in is home to a family of werewolves. Dog soldiers teeters dangerously between horror, comedy and just plain cheese but it never lets up the pace or the tension. All told find out more...

Six mates decide to take their depressed, recently divorced buddy to the countryside for a lads' only weekend away. Unfortunately they choose a small village over-run by man-hating cannabalistic zombie women. Armed only with a set of golf clubs the boys hack and slash their way through the night in a desperate attempt to stay alive till morning. 'Doghouse' is a film willfully (gleefully?) designed to bring out the outraged feminist in even the meakest of women and, as a bloke, I'm quite happy to find out more...

After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven lithe young girls and boys decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak sexual accident the genders turn on each other in what becomes a gruesome and murderous fight for survival. An original twist on the ‘teens in peril' horror flick in that at least this time they're doing away with each other. Late night 'Hollyoaks' special anyone? find out more...

A frantic call for help from a remote research station on Mars brings a crack team of Marines to the remote Olduvai genetic Research Station where they find a legion of nightmarish creatures, lurking in the darkness, killing at will. These boys are pretty hard-arsed but nothing has prepared them for the hell they are about to experience, a mission that will more than likely be their last. Yet another adaptation of an iconic computer game and sadly just as half baked as all the others…lots of big find out more...